|
Thursday, August 19, 2004
The Iron Gate
One night I chanced upon a hidden door, to a lair I knew not where.
I walked in search of reverie and healing, but fell on some stair, and in that instant I crashed and crumbled toward the floor.
Falling fast I could hardly breathe, nor see the life surround.
The closer I came, the farther I fell, and the farther I fell, the closer I came.
And in the darkest pitch of night, black swelling round and round, it seemed I’d found my way to Hell.
“But how?” I asked myself, “ when all was well, I am not the one dying here, it is not me!” “ Where I have left to go I do not know, but I am not finished in the earthen body granted from my God!” “ I have yet some life left to live!”
Further I fell into the night, the darkest black one could dream, and tumbled and rolled upon some earth, if earth is what was seen, to an iron gate that lay before me.
Barred shut it was, tighter than the strongest of men or gods could pry.
Yet, I alone, on this unforeseeable night, took one step and thus it opened, the condemned did not encumber from within the Iron Gate, which stood ajar waiting for my entrance.
At last I crawled hand and foot through its old rusted arc, to find the unexpected sleeping at its start.
A light, My God, it shown so bright, brighter than dreams could bare.
It placed its warm hand in mind and told me not to fear. It was not my time, it was not!
And behind this gate I’ve lived to see my fence, my wall grown taller, it will not fall for anyone. Only two hold the key.
Bombarded with evils and the devil’s own, I know not be afraid.
This gate it is my fortress, and with God I am safe.
In the wake of this Iron Gate I stood, alone once I thought, but in the company grandest of all I am.
My future is awaiting me, so long, farewell my to ends. The evils of this world may come upon my doorstep, but never shall they come within, for the God of all of them guards this Iron Gate.
By Mary Underwood
mary 8/19/2004 12:24:00 AM
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
So the new year begins with a crack, whistle, and a pop! And there isn't anything totally cool going on besides the fact we are seniors. I don't see Patrick until after school, no classes together, not even lunch- how depressing! Plus he has a job where he works like 3 days a week, i swear it's more than that though, only because people are taking off all the time and he has to fill their shifts:(!
Not only will i hardly see him, but we got our hopes up for him to move into my 7th period class, micro-economics AP, and then the counsler said it was ok and so did the teacher...so we thought it was a go go situation. But such is life when the counsler calls him and tells him she just got a notice from the shcool that says people can't change classes after August 6th, which is total shit because I did and I know several other people who did!!! Why does it have to be this way my senior year?!
My classes are alright the only ones i really like so far are BCIS and Econ, and that's only because of the teachers. I don'tunderstand what's wrong with some of them, they speak in monotone and some are old and some are mean, WHY??? Please someone get some color into the art teacher's face for God's sakes she looks like she hasn't seen the sun in a decade! And tell the Pre-Cal teacher to cheer up a bit, do a little dance, quit speaking in monotone, maybe try a couple new pitches or something!! Then there is my English teacher, she needs a new hair cut or something, she seems fairly nice, but for some reason i don't like her, it's prolly just all the work we are seeming to have to do. BAH on Grammar!!! I hate the stuff, i don't know what the rules are and everytime i try and learn them i can't remember, or i do remember i just can't apply them!
So i need to now finish some crappy homework and then go cry in a corner because nothing seems to be going as planned or right or anything... but once again, such is life, and i must live it, so i can do something later, after i've lived it and experienced all this nonsense. Time to cry, or something, just homework:( BAH!
This Year Has To Get Better!
mary 8/18/2004 04:34:00 PM
Thursday, June 24, 2004
JohnH778: showers is nice
JohnH778: specially after you've been working on stuff all day long
JohnH778: and you get home and you're like i am covered in sweat and dirt and rocks and drywall mix and then it's like ahhhh
Golddryke: hahahaha
Golddryke: drywall mix? why may i ask are you covered in dry wall mix?
mary 6/24/2004 11:48:00 PM
i seem to be having trouble posting...so this is a tester...
mary 6/24/2004 11:48:00 PM
Thursday, May 20, 2004
My Patrick loves me:) me so happy, and he told me I have pretty eyes. lol what will be next? Life is great no matter how crappy it gets and no how much i dont want to take part in it, it always gets better.:) Love you too Patrick! Also Matt Roberts Likes the Cranberries too...that made me happy- anywho doesnt compare to patrick loving me:)
mary 5/20/2004 11:27:00 PM
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
What WHAT WHAT???!?!?!? i dont care, that's right, take your best shot and ill show you my hind side, just look at my cheek and in the words or Werid Al, " ....a boy kicked me in the butt last week, but i just smiled at him, and i turned the other cheek, and that's just perfectin fact it suits me well, cause ill be laughing my head when 'shes' burning in hell"
So yah, similar things have, are, and will happen(ing) to me. lol my whole freshman year, let me tell you things like this only make me stronger, i have this wall up and it a'int comming down, not ever, it just gets bigger with every blow.
try looking at James 3:6
mary 5/05/2004 10:29:00 PM
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Apology
Many time I've spoken words of rashness and seemed intent
yet I don't truly mean what I speak,
they are just thoughts I have at a moments passing
never to be thought about again
its that rash and unjudgable side of my fire elemental cry.
I wish you to forgive me, to take me back in your arms
and hold me there, you help me grow.
and im sorry for things I've said that make you cry internally
things that words are not meant to form
things that were never suppose to be heard.
and I am sorry I have hurt you, that I have screamed inside myself cursing every existence of life
in the end I find all my pain, my anger, it is all just silent.
it's the way I learned to deal, I don't know why I get so angry, I would say I can't help it,
but I know I can, and I'm getting better, I know I am, I can see it, I stop myself when I begin
so I am just sorry you have to put up with me and if you wish I shall leave
I know I am not needed here with you
and im not trying to gain any pity or empathy
I just wish to be accepted, and if I cause too much pain tell me
and let me leave.
But if I don't let me know that as well, I want to be loved the way I love you.
so afraid I wont win, so afraid that I become ashamed and crumble
I collapse, perhaps
this is why I hurt you so bad and say things I wish I never said
but there is no place for regret, not in my life.
I must pick up the pieces and apologize.
yet somehow even after all that I feel as if i did not change the pace,
im still stuck in the same place, these feelings they never leave.
and yet once again for everything i am sorry.
mary 3/25/2004 05:14:00 PM
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Title: Mary- the super hero saint!!!
*BAM BAM BOOM!!!*
ben: you would be a saint
ben: yes that would be grand
ben: thats fine
ben: perfect
ben: o yes
ben: YES! YOU HAVE SAVED MY DAY
ME: all in a days work! *thinking- why of course i am a saint, my name is Mary, after all, and i am Ben's great gramma lol...(inside joke)
mary 3/03/2004 10:27:00 PM
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Forgotten
Infallible silence surrounds a man who was not cautious in his endeavors
Too soon he was captured and retained by the gazing stars
Intensely upon his face shown the delight of his departure.
Of which life so easily takes care
In manners broadening to distant palaces
Travels a man who is never lonelier on his way
For he has forgotten the one who truly loves him
This lady, unnamed, gives grace to his following
She hath no shame brought upon his face
He speaks of her to foreign winds
Which carry his silence over deepening caverns
And sadness portends to his future fate
Away in another land, his lady awaits, but for all his forgetfulness
His lady descends upon the earth,
Dying in his mirth, his wake soon passed left her stranded in emotions
He forgot and the birth she bore collapsed beneath her
Her child, laying dead upon her bosom, with its cold dead stare
She weeped and he had soon forgotten of the one who he truly loved
And she faded into the night
Of shadows and despair.
She hath soon passed into loneliness and craved her man return
But for he had forgotten she thus withered and disappeared.
mary 3/02/2004 10:26:00 PM
Sunday, February 29, 2004
Angel baby- nice old song:) i havent heard this for a lonnnnnng time so i decided to learn the words
its just like heaven
being here with you
youre like an angel too good to be true
but after all i love you i do
angel baby my angel baby
when you are near me
my heart skips a beat
i can hardly stand on my own two feet
because i love you i love you i do
angel baby my angel baby
oh who i love you oh who i do
no one could love you like i do
oh oh oh oh woe woe oh oh
please never leave me all alone
if you ever go im sure you'll come back home
because i love you i love you i do
angel baby my angel baby
its just like heaven
being with you dear
i could never stay away without you near
because i love you i love you i do
angel baby my angel baby
i love you i do
no one could love you like i do
mary 2/29/2004 12:54:00 AM
so far from here the years appear
when i would declare to you my dear
of all my dreams, my fantasies, the endings of my story
and here we are
breaking all my rules of never falling in love
and i tell you i am fallling for you.
if the mountains could eclaim by the wind howling in the rain through their passes
i could convey my feelings to you dear.
as the stars shine, brightly in the sky
as the moon wanes to its final stage
as the sun rises sets for the very last time
i tell you, i love you, and all will be fine.
mary 2/29/2004 12:03:00 AM
Thursday, February 26, 2004
thanks for just being cool and spending so much of your time with me Pat...
there are so many words left to say,
thoroughly spoken however,
i fear would not justify their meaning.
i mean to say without faultery,
how much i adore the company we share.
mary 2/26/2004 09:49:00 PM
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
so i came home today and felt like writing...so here it is..the first verse is really my favorite but i kept writing so i guess i should let everyone read it:
Away
If there’s a word in your mind,
A picture in the frame of time…
I would never die again
I would always live in your memories.
If you only let me stay, let me stay… in your mind this day
For now I will fade away, lost with the memories of yesterday.
I would never die again
But I will fade away, away…. Away
If you could believe
Every word I say
I would leave this way; with my wings I’ll take to the sky,
With my hands ill point and fly.
I would leave this day…this way.
If there’s a word in your mind,
A picture in the frame of time…
I would only ask of you to hold me close to you.
But time has come and I must go,
Away from here, I am not yet old
But time has come to pass
These tears I cry fall like broken glass…
And I can only fade away,
No true death
I can only take to the sky
With an unfamiliar lie
mary 2/24/2004 04:42:00 PM
|